Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
