dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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