dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
