I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
