Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
how does that bad decision feel?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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