There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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