Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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