new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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