3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
