1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
