i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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