i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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