Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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