Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
