Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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