its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
