i already hear my dad disowning me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
