He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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