I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize