The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
