Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
