i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize