Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
