batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
