yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
