when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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