If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
