ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
