i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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