Small penises have feelings too.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize