His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
