**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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