We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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