Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
