just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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