im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
