Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
