FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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