It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
