Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
