I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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