I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
