Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I understand Curling. That high.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
