Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i dont even know how to be here
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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