i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
