my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
