But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
