Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
