We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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