the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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