just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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