So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
