They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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