I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
