Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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