what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize