nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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