If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
