I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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