Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize