just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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