Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
