i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
