jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
