I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
